I'm LEGAL!!



hahahaha. Yes. I turned 18 yesterday. Initially was intending to post something before I sleep or something. But I didn't. The night was just too ... undescribable to just post right after I got back. (which for the first time, early) Spent time with my parents the whole day literally, right after school.

Let's see. I started this and don't know how to continue.
(note to self: never leave draft for more than 1 day)

Dinner with my parents at Thai. Had THREE different cuisines!! Then, went to caffe cino for hot chocolate! Anne and Sheryl came while we were there.

It's hands down the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

Thanks for the gifts!! Dearest, I LOVED IT! (You just know me! huggs) Sheryl, thanks for the book too!!! And, my BRAIN, I loved loved loved what you brought all the way back!

The vegesaurus was here.. SPEECHLESS!

Pictures of the 8 of us during dinner at Sarawak Club. Time flies. Our family always have dinners together. So yea. Used to remember when we were little when we can't even get by the second course without making SO much noise, running about, spilling food on ourselves etc. And now, we can't really talk to each other. We're all teens. We basically try to make small talk. We try, at least, no? Anyways, it's endearing to have cousins.

Just for the fun of it. I'd post about them. My cousins. *smiles* Brief intros.

First in line, Audrey Ang Sing Yee. She's the eldest among us, going to be 20 in Dec. Currently home from studies, will be going back to UiTM to finish her foundation year on Maths. (Yes, she is majoring in Mathematics and on full scholarship from the Government) She'd be going to UK soon. So yea. Ex-Teresian. Top student. Studied in St.Jo for her Lower and Upper Six, which she didn't finish as she was offered the scholarship. She's funny, sweet and well, smart. =) Knows Ed Tang, btw. lol!

Next, Adrian. Ah, this guy. Most of my childhood memories are of him and nana (Edwina) his little sister. He's going to be 19 in August. Currently home until he returns to Perth to study in Curtin, early July, if I'm not mistaken. Studying business. Ex-lodgian. Close cousins.

Then, it's none other than Yours Truly and Adeline. We're no.3 and no.4. =) We're both going to be 18, she's a month younger. I'm still studying. And she's teaching kindergarten, Morning Bell. We're pretty close, as she speaks mandarin to me much. We text and call each other too. Funny girl, I missed her.

No.5 and no.6. The KAMBINGS. (Called kambings, cos that's the year both of them were borned in) hehe. My little brother and Edwina (Adrian's little sister). They are both in Form 5, in St.Joseph and Lodge, respectively. Those two are really close too. Text each other and all. Gila kiddos that I love to bits, but I don't admit. (So you guys can't tell) Edwina's older.. turned 17 in March and my brother's still 16+, his birthday is in Sept. (Btw, his birthday is on the 25th, same as Ed Tang's)

Last but not least, Alastor and Alvin. Those two. The younger ones. Alastor is in Form 3, and Alvin in Form 2. In St.Joseph and Green Road, respectively. These two.. lol, funny dudes. I bully Alvin all the time, cos he's still smaller than me. ><>

Anyways. For now. It's be that. More soon!

Things happens.

You can't really just rewind them all the time. (Though, I tend to do that) Much has happened since I last posted anything. Just can't seem to actually find time to type out my thoughts and what not. Yea, I know. What's the point? Well, it's nicer than writing it on paper which I'd end up burning after a few weeks, heh. Don't know why though. I just do.

Trying to think back and see what "major" things that has been going on in my life or happening.. Let's see.

I got my P license! (Yes, I passed my test. Thanks to him and sheryl for being so supportive. Lol, sorry I punked you,sayang! Couldn't resist. Sheryl, thanks for being so so calming and funny too. Initially would have loved to give a blow by blow account about it, but now, it doesn't seem so important. But the song "Amazing Love" really helps with me driving with a cool head and I managed to let go of the handbrake! Whee! My side parking was great too. Lol.) School have been very busy. Had this lauching thingy for the 50th anniversary of our school being "formed" on the 14th. Didn't attend it fully as I went there with the girls from my class who are in this Cultural Dance Club (Yes, I do dance ><) to go over to the State Stadium for this Goverment organized activity for the Gawai Dayak Open Day. Family dinner because Adrian is back from Perth and Audrey from Shah Alam. Watched Kung Fu Panda. Had a school fair yesterday which was EXHAUSTING. (Sold rice for Grandma Recipe with poor wendy who was vegetarian. Oh, Sheryl and Nathalia came along too!! So happy. Thanks for the texts, dearest. Really calms.) The whole preparation for the game stall, which I didn't help Therese out yesterday was just an experience. Pretty calm when it comes to panicky situation, if I say so myself. Had to be, since Therese was already very annoyed about alot of things. The stall, Wendy and I looked after.. earned about 525, not too sure about the total. My class's stall didn't do well, supposedly, about 700 plus, teacher was not too glad about it. Ah wells. Had an earful of him complaining this morning. Mass yesterday though I attended on Saturday and all.

Spending time with people I care for much. Nothing beats that. Family or close friends. NOTHING, hands down beats it. *smiles*

This is a bit on the I-didn't-plan-how-to-type post. Sorry.

Thought provoking, no? The above is excerpted from two mails Sheryl sent me. Edited it and put both of it together. This is one those "answers" He gives me. =) He's super tech-savvy, okay? Here I am, still questioning and suddenly, He sents me answers through mail, lol! (Thanks to Sheryl) Been very frustrated lately. And, poof. ANSWERS. Answers I wanted. Answers that reassures. Answers that I thought don't exist. Answers to questions I thought He didn't think was important enough to answer.. Answers in little little forms. He has been answering me all these while. He's a wonder working God that sometimes, it makes me smile just to know these albeit maybe a tad late than I'd like. Nonetheless.. *smiles* He gave me answers to things I questioned for two years, TWO LONG years. (okay, I'm exaggerating, but it was long okay?) But, I was relieved, contented, satisfiend and yes, ready, it seems. He seems to know what's best. A loving Father indeed. And now, I'm speechless. (literally) Don't know what to say. So many things in my head now..

And, buckets of love He sends much in abundance lately. Just when I needed it the most .. Rain, my love, my solace. *smile* The train of thoughts is chugging away, best I take my leap and climb aboard. Going to watch rain outside my window. Soothing melodies of old that lisped of true promises and loving tears.

Headache now, I need sleeeeeeep.

To be discouraged, it's not willed by Him. It's our choice and ours alone. Why did I chose that? I still don't know why. Why do I choose to deny that I'm weak and I should just trust?? Why. Too many of them why's.. My thinking cap is fraying at the ends.

Panicking.

Hyperventilating.



Driving test, the retest is tomorrow. I'm panicking. Sighs. I know I practised it soo many times today, but it doesn't seem enough. Side parking and the hill. Ahhh! Been driving since 2 something. Rest in between, a girl and this guy had their turns too. Dozed a bit, too tired. Drove home just now. Nothing beats speeding on the road, though it's not a good thing to do, risking people's lives somehow. Should vent it else where.

School was school, need I say more? Our Shangainese teacher, Ms Yang left us, her husband was transferred to Germany for this job. So yea. Mr. Tan, one of our school's veteran, semi-retired teacher came and he will be subsituting her and teach us till our exams in October. Double period chinese was not bad as I thought it'd be. Mr. Tan gave us this assignment to research and write up a report of some sort on the Sze Chuan Earthquake on the 12th of May. Will be graded on content and such. Hopefully I'd do well on it. He was sharing much about his thoughts on the earthquake, the politics in China and the students he taught. Something he said motivated me. "Search yourself. Find yourself. Dare to venture and be different. Maybe your cup of tea isn't studying. Maybe it's something else. Not everyone's cut out for school. You have your talents. You're raw. Find it and don't let anyone tell you eitherwise. You just need to persevere." Something like that, can't really remember. When I remember, I'd tell, heh. School has been just lots of rush work and new assignments. Demanding. Got few of my papers back, what the hell have I been doing those days when I took my exam? My english is a pathetic B+, 80 marks. And the science subjects.. few marks to borderline passing grade of 50. Pathetic to the capital P.

Tried to stay awake. By the 7th and 8th period, I was having this really bad headache and gastric some more (I did eat, but just had it) Slept and had dreams during the 8th period, so frustrated. Missed out on math period today. Rushed to get home. The usual chores and shower, then drove till nearly 7 something.

Going to play Spongebob Squarepants now. So ugh.

*fingers crossed, prayers lisped*

Hopefully, come tomorrow.. I'd passed the test. God willing.

Ee-po, ice-cweam cold cold. I want.

ee, look, new smile..

*Sighs with a smile*

Things like this just make life so WORTHWHILE! My day today was alright. Went to school with daddy to get my results. Then, got home and went to work with mum. Mum decided should just make me eat before going to work with her. Went to Auntie Corner (a family fave) and bumped into Aunt Anna. Endearing, encouraging and what not to be there, listening to them talk, being told off and what. Was frustrated, yes. But nothing of that now. Spent the whole day at the office, supposedly revising organic chemistry (which I don't remember half of it at all). It was so so so cold and was having really bad back pains and cramps. Tired. Played Spongebob Squarepants Collapse, one of those simple games, hehe. Got back and yea.. dinner which lifted my spirits. And not to mention texts from sheryl and him. *smiles*

Little things make me happy. Thank You, My Strength, for reminding me of why I'm still pushing to live this life. Thanks for giving your absentminded daughter a little nudge of a reminder once in awhile. Oh yea, it rained, the whole night.. though didn't get much sleep, it soothed. *smiles*

My left foot and his left foot! *grins*

As I told someone, I am content.. And I'd say once more, "Yes, I am." *smiles*

There are many things that work to keep us from completing our life-missions. Over the years, I’ve debated whether the worst enemy is procrastination or discouragement. If Satan can’t get us to put off our life missions, then he’ll try to get us to quit altogether. The apostle Paul teaches that we need to resist discouragement: “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up …” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).

Do you ever get tired of doing what’s right? I think we all do. Sometimes it seems easier to do the wrong thing than the right thing. When we’re discouraged, we become ineffective. When we’re discouraged, we work against our own faith. When I’m discouraged, I’m saying, “It can’t be done.” That’s the exact opposite of saying, “I know God can do it because he said ….”

Ask yourself these questions:· How do I handle failure? ·When things don’t go my way, do I get grumpy? · When things don’t go my way, do I get frustrated? · When things don’t go my way, do I start complaining?· Do I finish what I start? · How would I rate on persistence?

If you’re discouraged, don’t give up without a fight. Nothing worthwhile ever happens without endurance and energy. When an artist starts to create a sculpture, he has to keep chipping away. He doesn’t hit the chisel with the hammer once, and suddenly all the excess stone falls away revealing a beautiful masterpiece. He keeps hitting it and hitting it, chipping away at the stone. And that’s true of life, too: Nothing really worthwhile ever comes easy in life. You keep hitting it and going after it, and little-by-little your life becomes a masterpiece of God’s grace.The fact is, great people are really just ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination. Great people don’t know how to quit.

Something Sheryl sent me. Would be thinking material among the other cluttered things in my head tonight, for me it seems. To resist discouragement. Somehow, it seems the easy way out to say - Okay, that's it. It's impossible. I don't want to bloody do this anymore. It's easy to say that. So so easy to just give in. For me, my EVIL NEMESIS is definitely - PROCRASINATION. I'm this unwilling bride married to this evil husband that manipulates me and well, whispers false sweet nothings and hence, I put things off. (Seems like I'm blaming it.. ><) Have this sparking motivation in me to just TRUST His Will, do my part and reap SOMETHING my parents would be proud of, something that they'd brim at the eyes end of the year..

What about you? =)

Suddenly want a kitten or a puppy.. Sorry garfield (my old stuffed toy), you haven't been helping much. A live one would be better.

I NEEEEED SLEEP! Go away cramps. =(

SLAP!!!



Yeap. More like electrocuted! Called Therese to talk about something. Was whining to each other about how we were not looking forward to school tomorrow.. Then, suddenly she asked - Hey, results out online.. you checked yours yet? I was like - OH YEA!! SHIT! I haven't check. *starts to sweat then hyperventilate* umm. call you back later, I go check online..

Click Click.. Text sheryl. Calls sheryl. Breathe breathe. Shit, what's the school website again?? Sheryl comforts. Googled it. Thanked Sheryl. Click click. Rattle student ID number under my breath.. Type in ID number and pass. Holds breath. Why page load so slow. Clicks another window. Muttering under breath.. Page loads. Ugh, fully loaded. Hand trembles. Clicks on results. And proceed to...



HUMBUG!

For the last term EVER in high school.. my average is a BLOODY D! How in the world did that happen? Well, not surprised, I'm not on honor roll or the SMARTEST person you'd know. My papers for my semester exams were tough and I didn't really know how to answer most of my science subject papers. And maths, UGH! And to top it off, I was absent for quite awhile in April and I didn't take leave, hence get deduct marks for being absent off my average. Ah wells, I deserved it. Sod it! No excuses. You reap what you so, Jovina. So face it. Disappointed about my geography.. A C+ with only an average of 78. Sighs. Practically fail everything with the passing mark being 50. Sighs.

Average after deduction of marks from being absent from school/being late for class/mundane things - 53.4. *grimaces* Tsk at self for being lazy to do procedures for taking leave. Stupid stupid stupid. So what if it was a hassle? Could have got a C at least if I did, 60 plus plus average. (Will enlighten anyone who doesn't understand how my school works.) Useless to cry over split milk. This girl shall learn from her mistakes. Yes, she will.

Sod it.

Let me lick my wounds.

Yeap.

2 weeks of sabbathical holiday.

I've yet to hold a pen and write anything "educational". (Defination of educational being anything to do with numbers, chinese characters, scientific terms etc.) I've yet to calculate anything more than my change I'd get after paying something. I've yet to write a chemical equation and balance it. I've yet to write ANY chinese characters since my last paper two fridays ago. I've yet to run through my head the mechanics of certain things in life, think physic. I've yet to close my eyes and commit to memory how every single part of the anatomy in a human body works. I've yet to do anything as one would put it - productive or contributing to my education. Okay, maybe a little (just to reassure myself) I did read a bit of bio. Hah, like that counts.

And, guess what. Tomorrow, SCHOOL STARTS.. I'd be getting my results *shudder shudder scream scream!!* for my first term, which is also my last term exam EVER in high school. October's coming!!! Ah wells. What's done's done. SAVE ME!

These two weeks. *inhale, exhale*

I can't say I didn't learn anything. Oh, I did. Learnt that sometimes, I can be so BLOODY indecisive. Learnt that staying out late and getting home after midnight, breaking curfews and tuning parents out hurts them JUST AS MUCH as I think it does me. I do know my actions can never be justify no matter how I tell myself otherwise because I understand how irresponsible I am. I've learnt so many things about myself, about those I care for, and definitely more about Him. How He tends to guide and well, laugh at me, perhaps He chuckles more. Learnt that being locked out of the house is but nothing but DESERVED. Learnt that emo-ness is so BLOODY CONTAGIOUS! Learnt sometimes a single text can change you, your emotions etc. Learnt that somehow there's always a reason to everything. Learnt I still can't ever get sleep. Learnt I should just sing more Sound of Music songs before I go for driving. Learnt that I just have to trust Him. Learnt I can really love. Learnt I mean something to others. Learnt different people show love differently. Gosh, I did learnt.

Just to reminisce.

Throughout the two weeks, I spent my time with people I hold dear. Did chores. Stayed home. Watched dvds! Read books, as usual. Watched a few movies. Spent one too many nights out late. *grimaces* Spent time with JO!! Spent time with Gen who was back for awhile. Ah, gawai. My gawai was spent with Sheryl. I'm so GRATEFUL for her, for our friendship, for everything. Randomity is what you'd get when we two get together. To just squeeze everything into one word, it was - lovely. (hahaha, I'm cheesy!) If I was not mistaken, spent 10 hours with her. Went to Nat's house then movies at night after I got home to shower and all. Watched What Happens In Vegas with Sheryl, Steph and Merv. Couldn't really remembered when, I did watch The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian. Not too bad. My ass hurt though, watched with Merv, Pius, Sheryl and Errol. And earlier on the week, after mass, I watched Indiana Jones with Ed and Ken. Indiana Jones - HAO XIAO! (directly translated, so STUNT-filled.) And Shia, gosh.. swoon!

Jo sleptover last night. She slept mostly. As usual, I couldn't sleep. She came over around 4, went mass with her. Had this weird-make-me-freak-out incident before daddy picked us up. Was freaked okay! Had dinner at Tomoe's, yes, I do eat. Then, went to Boulevard because mummy wanted ice-cream. Went around looking at I quote from Jo - hooker heels. *sweat*. Got a few *cough cough* things. Laughed at "fruits" (lol!!) And, yea.. spent time with her. Girl talk, pillow talk, laughing at jovina baby photos talk. It was great.. Wish could send her off.

Oh yea, before I forget. DRIVING. Went for lots of driving lessons. And, yes, I failed my driving test..



I failed my hill. I did alright for my route part though, 19 out of 20, great JPJ guy. Thanks to those who were texting and all throughout the whole day! I really appreciate it. Going to resit it on the 12th. *cross fingers and lisp prayers* I was like this lost kid with my hippo pillow at the institute hyperventilating. Gosh. Then,I prayed like crazy. Was asked to go to the car. My palms were all clammy and all. Started the engine.. and started singing "His Love is Amazing". And I was, chanting in my head - It's your Will, Your Will. I failed it. I couldn't let go of the handbrake!! SO hard! I was like using both of my hands and muttering - Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! (Oh, the sight of me must be so funny) I was swearing alot. Was struggling with the handbreak and suddenly the car start to slip, I was like oh shit! let go of my accelerator to step on the brakes. And, next thing I knew it was swearing my way down the bloody hill. Sighs. Had too much of my nic fixes too. I need bananas!

So much to say. So much I learnt. Who says two weeks was long!!?

Was here, not looking forward to school tomorrow. Bah humbug!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVD and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree..

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals almost everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often.

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

39 tips from mummy dearest. It's funny how sometimes, I think I miss making lists. Although I don't really follow my own lists, it does give a sense of calm. Will try to do a check list of these 39 tips, I'm sure I'd work something out on it. A few of them, I'd love to really do, such as no.1, no.5, no.7, no.8, no.12, no.13, just to name a few. no.16 is something I definitely must do, supposedly I have very bad, weird eating habits. no.35 pratically screams at me and yes, I'd keep in mind no.28 and no.38 at all times. =) I'm just in need of sleep. Cluttered thoughts.

Saw this picture on Deviantart. (Click on it for a bigger picture. Not really clear. So yea.) Here's the excerpt after the picture. I quote -