And shadows fall across the sea.

One bright star in the evening sky,

Your love’s light leads me on my way.

There’s a dream that will not sleep,

A burning hope that will not die,

So, I must go now, with the wind,

And leave you waiting on the tide.

Time to fly, time to touch the sky,

One voice alone, a haunting cry.

One song, one star burning bright,

May it carry me through darkest night.

Rain comes over the gray hills,

And on the air, a soft goodbye,

Hear the song that I sing to you,

When the time has come to fly,

When I leave and take the wind,

And find the land that faith will bring,

The brightest start in the evening sky,

Is yours to find for me..

(Celtic Women - The Soft Goodbye)

*****

Celtic Women.

Celtic Women have been on replay for the whole few hours. Rain, you've just make me choke. I don't know why. The past, stop haunting me. I can't stand you. Leave me be. I want to see you, my future. You've never seem so bleak. Okay. Let's shove me a sign that say MCB, You're EMO. Then, take a photo of me in a supposed emo pose. Happy? Sighs. That was uncalled for. Even in a post, I'm so bloody rude. Ah wells. Don't tell me it's alright, I apologise.


It's still raining. Come, soothe me as you always have. I need you more than ever, rain. Assure me. You've promised. May it be. It gets hard I guess once the hours slip past you. One tries very hard. She puts on her sunny deposition and wear it like a cloak. She smiles until it sticks, bright, glaring and fake. Plastic.

I'm trying to prep myself. Updatest later on the day, or tomorrow, the latest. Promise. Mundanity, I need that.

Come, serenade me, you who promises me Everlasting Rest. Thank you for Celtic Women. Sounds weird, but they've been uplifting. Carry me tonight. Soothe my sleep. I can't stand the dreams. Only You know how I feel..

That brings me closer to that day..
(I don't count. I am reminded daily though and that hurts, literally. I kid you not.)

Where I learned what being an "adult" includes. The responsibilities.

Where I learned that it hurts to be told at the last minute about certain things.

Where I learned how much I am going to miss the little things here.

Where I learned that I can be who I am once I find her.

Where I learned that my past hurts me more than I want to admit.

Where I learned that I get affected by the smallest thing like a kitten jumping in front of me or a little child smiling from the next table gives me the warm feeling within that reassures that life, indeed is beautiful.

Where I learned how much I want to be listened to..

Where I spent just that another day with those I love as much as I can, to the fullest.

Where just a call from someone makes me smile and forget the ache.

Where I just want to turn back time so much.

Gastric. Headache.

Gerard needs his rest. I'd leave this be for now..

Cock that gun.

Hear the click.

Give me strength that I say I don't need.

Clear my thoughts.

I need to breathe.

Give me peace when I go weak.

I don't need to understand.

Just teach me to be meek.

Give me the patience that I just need.


Jovina was here, troubled and chugging away fast on the express train of her thoughts. She needs a little breather from all of this. Perhaps, it's the cramps that is murderous or the constant headache that plagues her day or the gastric that seems so normal to have. Perhaps blaming it on her anatomy shrugs off the niggling thoughts in her head and makes this emotional roller coaster sound more rational than it is. She just needs stoicism and just that little ounce more of faith. And perhaps, just more sleep. She is playing that song "Hungry" over and over again. "You Were There" comes second on her most played list. She wants a kitten.. Daddy's fishes in the aquarium are so placid that sometimes, she wishes she were a fish.. She needs not the bloody nic fixes, but she just wants so. Her blades are so cold, they seem to caress her so. She wants her Lindt chocolates, but alas, it has long been consumed by someone she calls little brother. Time, you sprint right past, she grasped so hard and try to catch you, but you,sly bugger, slipped her once more. She needs to understand herself perhaps and learn that sometimes, it's all about faith. Ah, fuck you thoughts. She resents her cussing, but there she goes again. And that reminds her of The Cranberries song. She rambles on and starts to tsk. Perhaps it's best, she tucks Gerard in. Too early in the morning, sleep where are you? She needs that little calm just a little bit more than she thinks. Perhaps a little wine would do the trick. Does she need it? Maybe so. Thinking cap, she says she wants to take you off and tuck you away, and perhaps put you back on another day. Say, maybe on that 7 hour flight across the sea. You are getting frayed, thinking cap. Best you're taken off and not worn. It's time you're put away. No more thoughts, she says. Sleep, she misses you so. Grandma, she needs your away-with-you-worries twirls and that comforting Teochew accented murmurs. Daddy above, she needs Your Perfect Strength, she needs You to be her refuge.. Mushu, she needs you silly laughs and thanks you so from the bottom of her heart for being there. Brain, she needs your rants and misses your yells, your simple thoughtfulness, your deep voice and that laugh. Dearest Pooky carer, she needs you to be alright and aches to know you haven't been well of the late. Baby, she needs your honesty and knows you're asleep as of now, she appreciates all the understanding you've given..

Sometimes, it's best one stays silent .. and listen, to others at times, to oneself. And perhaps, that one clear voice within speaks of the truth. No sugar coated lies, no fabricated truths. Just, the simple, well known truth.. that has always been there.