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It's Back
Woke up just now around 18.23pm.
Totally disoriented. How did I ended up on my bed? In this comfy big tee and asleep diagonally on my bed with my garfield clenched? Oh, right. I feel asleep for the umpteenth time this few weeks on my homework after getting back from school, showering and doing my laundry in the afternoon. Stupid. No wonder mummy's unhappy about the whole habit because it'd be dinner time by then, and I won't have done my chores. And for the many times lately, miss dinner. Yes, perhaps to some, dinner time isn't that important. To my family, it's family time. Whether you want to eat or not, sitting at the dining table - A MUST. I try my very best to be there at times. But, technically my shell of a body's there, my mind miles away.
I can't help it. I can't sleep at night. So sue me. Nocturnal. You ask me why? Like I'd know.
Woke up with this ache in my chest. This empty void. Felt like I was devoid of hope. This emptiness that I held so close at times because it was all I could grasp on. Head swimming with scenes from the dreams. Heart racing. Pulse quick. Hyperventilating? I don't know. All I know is I felt scared. SCARED out of my wits. I didn't know they'd come back, more intense than before. I was caught off guard. The feelings were so real. The emotions so intense. I felt like I was running for miles. I didn't sweat though. My palms were icy. (Not like they are always warm, apparently) Why? I thought they'd torment at night. Now, everytime I close my eyes?
It's back.
Those dreams. Vivid. Emotion-filled. Draining.
Totally disoriented. How did I ended up on my bed? In this comfy big tee and asleep diagonally on my bed with my garfield clenched? Oh, right. I feel asleep for the umpteenth time this few weeks on my homework after getting back from school, showering and doing my laundry in the afternoon. Stupid. No wonder mummy's unhappy about the whole habit because it'd be dinner time by then, and I won't have done my chores. And for the many times lately, miss dinner. Yes, perhaps to some, dinner time isn't that important. To my family, it's family time. Whether you want to eat or not, sitting at the dining table - A MUST. I try my very best to be there at times. But, technically my shell of a body's there, my mind miles away.
I can't help it. I can't sleep at night. So sue me. Nocturnal. You ask me why? Like I'd know.
Woke up with this ache in my chest. This empty void. Felt like I was devoid of hope. This emptiness that I held so close at times because it was all I could grasp on. Head swimming with scenes from the dreams. Heart racing. Pulse quick. Hyperventilating? I don't know. All I know is I felt scared. SCARED out of my wits. I didn't know they'd come back, more intense than before. I was caught off guard. The feelings were so real. The emotions so intense. I felt like I was running for miles. I didn't sweat though. My palms were icy. (Not like they are always warm, apparently) Why? I thought they'd torment at night. Now, everytime I close my eyes?
It's back.
Those dreams. Vivid. Emotion-filled. Draining.
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