This Journey of Ours

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

A Soft Goodbye

When the light begins to fade,

And shadows fall across the sea.

One bright star in the evening sky,

Your love’s light leads me on my way.


There’s a dream that will not sleep,

A burning hope that will not die,

So, I must go now, with the wind,

And leave you waiting on the tide.


Time to fly, time to touch the sky,

One voice alone, a haunting cry.

One song, one star burning bright,

May it carry me through darkest night.


Rain comes over the gray hills,

And on the air, a soft goodbye,

Hear the song that I sing to you,

When the time has come to fly,


When I leave and take the wind,

And find the land that faith will bring,

The brightest start in the evening sky,

Is yours to find for me..

(Celtic Women - The Soft Goodbye)


*****


I never did like the word goodbye. I feel that it seems so final. Farewell is alright. Zai Jian - means See you again in Mandarin works better. Hui Tou Jian works too, means, when I turn back and look, you'd be there. I never thought it would hurt so bad to know that I'm leaving. Yes, I do know it would. But the intensity it hits me with in the guts, I never anticipated. It has yet to really sink in, perhaps in the next few hours it would? Or when I'm thousands of feet above ground, flying past oceans that will separate me from this place I call home, perhaps then, it will be realized. When Brain left, when I called from school, I didn't say the word, I just said - I'll see you soon. And it felt better. When he left, I didn't say the word either, those years ago, I never did. And it's hard. I know I said, I'll see you, as well. I guess it takes awhile. Perhaps that's my way of being in denial.

Everything feels surreal. I don't know why it is getting so hard to turn my back and leave. It's not like I'm literally turning my back on those I love, just to leave for the time being and start this new chapter. But why
do I feel, not keen? Not even excited that I'm leaving? I don't know. It feels like someone is wrenching at me this chunk off me, I kid you not. No. I take that back. It's this really painful ache that throbs and only ebbs after a long while. I am trying. No, struggling. Honestly, I am not really ready, emotionally. Physically, perhaps?

I dare not say I won't shed tears. I know I would. I dare not say it doesn't hurt. It does. But His Will, not mine. I will do what's plan. Stand firm and hold Jeremiah 29:11-12 close. And also, of those I love, I worry, yes. But I know.. everything, everyone will be cared for by Him. I just.. know I'd miss .. alot of things.

For now, let me.. whisper a soft goodbye, and say I'm alright..

4 Responses
  1. your heart Says:

    I hope you've arrived safe, love. Hope things there are alright, hope you like the place :) missing you so much.


  2. your heart Says:

    No farewells, love :) You'll see all your loved ones again :) You're just on a short trip, okay?


  3. Fishy Says:

    wau....pro english...
    xD
    So much word that i cant understand in your blog.
    =.=


  4. teddykins Says:

    lol, pro. Fishy, wonder who are you.