This Journey of Ours

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Of The Late

(Note: This is a windy, rambling one)

Been having my semester exam, for the first semester.

English and Biology. Tomorrow. Last papers.

It'd be the last semester test I'd EVER have in my entire life. Seriously. Last year in high school. Next year, I won't have to take it. Part of me, feels afraid. Scared. Being in this rountine life makes you afraid of new things, perhaps? The last year, I'd switch with another class (normally a younger form, say Junior2C this year. Which was my junior class too.) The last year, I'd wear a uniform to sit for my papers. The last year, where I sit at my table staring at the words that grin and mock me. The last year, I'd force myself to shrug at the kids who are super noisy before the exam. The last year.

Had the test since last Saturday. Went for the W.C.O, Word Chill Out on Friday. Asked myself alot questions within. It's about speaking out, about one's faith. Many many questions. Speak from within. Monday was Wesak. (which is my lunar birthday btw) Got two gifts, by two very sweet people. =) Performed for Fr.Joseph and Msg. William's Sacradotal Silver Jubilee. It was a great night. Went for mass before too. Mime was awesome. Fr.Jo said he LOVED it!

Syoknya

Last week, has been a whirl. If I were to sit back and watch everything all over again, I might miss some things too. My gadgets got confiscated. No, I'm not pissed or upset, really. Just, upset over other things. I owned up, asked for the punishment myself. I was tired. Too tired to give a fuck. It doesn't matter, really. Material things that's all they are. I'd say this though, I broke down. Seriously, broke down. When I was asked if I was alright before the whole thing, I was so calm, collected. Then, after that question, I just cried. I loathed myself then and there for being so weak. So vulnerable.

Tia left for TARC on the 8th. I missed her even more. Showing it would mean weakness. Ah wells. Before she left, went out with her with Tony at Tao's after dinner at Secret Garden on the 4th. I realize, friends stay if they are true. And those two.. *smiles* Just are one of those few true ones, I've found and glad to have.

Nights have been.. intense. (Okay, that sounded wrong.) But it has been draining. So yea. Lots of thoughts in my head at the moment.

Been getting answers lately. Late as they are, I'm still relieved. =)

Anyways, driving lessons in a bit. Driving test on the 29th. Crossing fingers.

Till the next, toodles.

Aids Convention

India.
What would you imagine? Which India?


Mumbai? The bustling city. Or Kolkata? Would you be thinking of the slums of India, where children aren't fully dressed, malnourished and barefooted? Or the westernized Mumbai, where the youngsters are clad in jeans. Which ever part of India, you're thinking of.. my post will be a little about it for now. Might get a bit windy. Just because my thoughts are cluttered now.


When I went for this Aids Convention held at the Spring. That's what I experienced. Being taken on a ride by a narration played on an MP3 given to me as I entered. It was quite an experience. I was going on this girl's life journey in India. Her name's Jothi. She's a few years younger, 14 or was it 16.

Followed the instructions of the narrator. I didn't take photos of it, it was not allowed. Was asked to sit down at this bench.. Then, sounds from the city, sounds of people, flooded my ears. Was asked to imagine.. It's like I went right to another different world. The old India, the people. The sights and smells. All of that. Like I was there myself, totally "travel and adventure feeling". Heh.

Then, my journey began. I'm now walking through her life, the place she stayed, the things she went through. She lost her parents to HIV or sickness, couldn't really remember. She had to stay with her uncle and aunt who grudgingly took her and her little brother in. Her uncle and aunt will quarell over caring for them. Openly complain that she and her brother were burdens to them. At times, she'd cower underneath her thin blanket, shivering and scared. Her little brother who's weak would cry, fuelling the anger in her aunt and uncle. Her only joy was her grandmother. Slowly, after much family disputes and all, age and illness took its toil on her grandmother. Her sole source of love, just faded. She had to find work. Being 10 only, she would wake up early in the morning to work, collecting scraps of metal for miles on end, on an empty stomach. Big trucks on the road drive past, and the truckers would leer and sneer at little Jothi. She must have felt so alone. So afraid. She had no choice. Earning money albeit so meagre was vital. So she persevered. I admire her strength, really.

She got sick sometime soon. She worries day and night. Wondering if she might have what mother and father had. Having sleepless nights. I felt the anxiety she must have felt, wondering if she has HIV or not. Plucking up the courage, she went to the clinic. Overcame her fear of needles and took the test. I was then, asked to sit on the bench, divided by a curtain there. There were other people there too. then, the narrator asked me to get up to take the "results". Went up to the person behind the booth, heart actually beating a few beats too fast. And, this volunteer dressed up as a nurse, used a stamp and inked this negative sign on me. I actually felt relieved, Jothi was HIV-negative. Gosh. It was such a journey. Before I continued on to the next "room", the narrator asked me to turn around and look at the bench opposite the one I sat. It was filled with people who was in it too. Was told that those would be the ones with results that are positive. So was quite overwhelmed.

Went to the next room, the wall of hope. Where I was asked to write my hopes for those who have HIV. Left my note.. and pinned it on the bulletin. Went through another "room" where the walls had pictures of kids around the world who had HIV, being innocent and all. Touched. I took pictures of my inked "result" on my left hand and the band.. and a few brochures. But those pictures are lost.

Always knew about HIV and AIDS. Want so badly to do something about it. But what can I do besides showing equality and being accomodating to those who have it? I want to do more. Period. Want to make a difference. Not just talk, but for real. For now, I'm still thinking how to.

What will you do?

E.R '08

My E.R experience.

It seem like weeks ago, when in fact, it wasn't too long ago. It was an impulse. To attend it. To help out (just because I didn't want to say no). To grab hold once more. To get back on that track. I don't know.

Was asked to describe it with one word, by Rick or was it Ralph? Yeap. I came up with the adverb - LOVELY. (Yes, so cheesy). Was there as a servant. As in, not wholly a participant, but to work. Attended a few of the workshops. Attended part of the concert, all hyped up and so filled with Him. Jumped, screamed, sang and what not before performing the mime with them. The Drama - Deal or No Deal, was great! The crowd was, unexpected. The dance, Break Free was so powerful. And the songs sang by the Music Ministry - empowering! The emotions, god. I thank Him for it. Overall, it was GREAT. I'd love to analyse every single thing of the whole E.R, but just not so up to it for now.

From the many nights of practicing for the mime, Who I Am. To going through lots of things. To watching the whole set up. At the process of it all, gained new friends. Close ones. Maybe, someday soon (hopefully during my holidays) I'd write a longer one on E.r 08. As the days pass, I realise, I miss it. The practices. Everything. But one thing is for sure, I'm doing my best to live my life with L.O.V.E.

Live. Obedience. Victory. Empowered.

He guided us all. That's for sure. We asked - Who Am I? Here's His Answer. We are His.
More soon. Pinky promise.