T.G.F.W!

Saturday classes are always a breeze! Lessons move along so fast without fail all the time. It's not draggy and all. Anyways, my Chinese teacher told us stories for the whole period (maybe, I'd post something on it soon) just because she intended to wake us up after being so disappointed with our results for the test we took earlier in the week. I'm not proud of how I did, I know I didn't really remember the translations for most of it. I did my paper though. Even so, I still need to pull up my socks. Which reminds me, that's something I always do literally, haha. I tend to wear short ones, too comfy for me to trade them in for those horrid long ones.

My weekend was kinda unfortunate. First of, I got whacked in the face by Mr.Lee, well known as Hong Chong. Before anyone of you start gasping and jumping into conclusion at how MEAN Mr.Lee was to me that he slaps me, let me explain. He was changing our seats. And, for those who know him, he is a man of HUGE HAND GESTURES and body language. So, unlucky teddy happened to be behind him when he was gesturing and "WHAM" I got whacked on the left side of my face. HURTS, alright? My left eye teared up and my classmates were like "OMG!". I was embarrassed, okay? VERY embarrassed for that matter. My face was a tad swollen. He apologised of course. Then, during Leo activities, Nathan that kid, kicked me in the shins unintentionally. In the evening, I knocked into the dining table at home. At the restaurant, I tripped but didn't fall, thank goodness. And just now, during dinner at Secret Garden, the waiter whacked my head (unintentionally, of course) with his tray after serving daddy's potato salad. Me and my unfortunate events. Lemony Snicket, need you more inspirations??!

Grandma (mummy's mummy, hehe) turned 76 yesterday on the 29th of March 2008. Yea. I took a few photos. After mummy picked me up from school, we went to wecare to buy a few slices of cakes, because we knew so very well that grandma can't even finish one slice. O_o Took a few pictures. Will display them as follows. My skills need to be polished. Some of the photos sucks. Sighs. We picked ah ma up around 1700, the roads at Padungan were already congested with the "Ngai Sin" thingy. Bought grandpa dinner. Went for dinner with the family at Shuang Teeng at RH Plaza. It feels kind of empty, the tables. Adrian's in Perth, Audrey in Shah Alam. It feels like the family is getting smaller. Dinner was the usual. Pictures below. Didn't eat much, no appetite. The usual load of dishes. Chinese dinners, so you know.

After dinner, we stopped by our "old" house at Nanas Road, my childhood home, to see my aunt , my ji gou (daddy's 2nd elder sister) She was admitted to the hospital earlier in the week. Seeing her so weak and the state of my old home (due to a few reasons, I can' say why) my heart aches so badly to see her that way. Life's so fragile. I wish I could do more than just ask her how is she feeling and hold her hand. Humans, sometimes, we take things for-granted. Times like this, I wish I have healing powers, wish I have genes as those of Heroes. Wishful thinking, useless.

Sunday was spent bumming around. *Tsks at self* I should be hung upside down and shook some sense in my thick head. EXAMS, JOVINA!! Sighs. Went for mass. Dinner was fun, aside from being whacked in the head with a tray by the waiter. Cousin came along with us for mass and all. When nana's around, and me, the other nana's around, it equals fun. hehe.

A week ahead. Let me hurl myself. I'd remember my safety gear, so fret not!

(The bug of the posting frenzy has bitten me. I've been itching to post again. Lord knows why. The need to switch on the PC and just type. Hence, might be posting more.)

Shower. Mull. Wash up the uniform. Wrung it dry. Hang them. Feel the breeze. Look up the skies. GREY ones. Anticipation, baby. Lisps to self, RAIN. RAIN. RAIN.

Got back from driving lessons awhile ago. I'm driving, yes. Changing gears. Clutch. Slamming brakes. Stepping on the accelerator. Clutch. Brake. Signal. Glance at the rearview mirror. Turning on the song louder. Actually, it's like this out of one's body experience. I know I'm driving, but I'm not there, wholly. My mind was cluttered with this, that and what not. Don't worry. I was focused. The only thing that I tend to forget is that by gear 1 and gear 2, one MUST NOT EVER lift one's foot of the clutch ENTIRELY but slowly. I love gear 3 and 4! My favorite - Gear 4! Ah wells, the engine didn't stall on me today. It just went like a race horse or as my driving instructor would say in Teochew. And, I steer like a maniac. Yes, I just LOVE to drive too close to the side of the road. (Note my sarcasm) My instructor asked me - Are you ok? Of course, I shrugged and said yes. Horrible inconsiderate old men who drive ugly Mercedes, bless your soul. I was cynical enough to laugh when my engine stalled so damn near your car, just because you were too impatient and cut through my lane just as I was moving and made me slam on my brakes. I didn't swear, so I'm not mean. Enough about driving. I'm itching to drive now. Oh yea, I've been told my driving skills aren't too bad. Just that, I have a tendency to SPEED. Can't blame me. I can't stand going at 40km/h. It's just torture.

Today. School was school, if anyone is to ask me how it is. There was an I.T test. I didn't know about it until I reached school. O_o I was so lazy to even actually study for it. It's during the last period. Ah wells. Was totally clueless at what to write. So, I so-called "DARINGLY" left it blank and just did the objectives and that's when my eyes started to droop dangerously close. Ended up, jolting (not that sudden, of course. Else, I'd make a fool out of myself.) because the dreams were there. What am I doing?

Tuition. Ah, maths. You're EVIL to the capital E. I'm trying to love you. So, try, won't you to love me too?

(The above was written on Friday. Apparently, it wasn't saved, so hence. It's repeated here. I copied paste. haha.)

Woke up just now around 18.23pm.

Totally disoriented. How did I ended up on my bed? In this comfy big tee and asleep diagonally on my bed with my garfield clenched? Oh, right. I feel asleep for the umpteenth time this few weeks on my homework after getting back from school, showering and doing my laundry in the afternoon. Stupid. No wonder mummy's unhappy about the whole habit because it'd be dinner time by then, and I won't have done my chores. And for the many times lately, miss dinner. Yes, perhaps to some, dinner time isn't that important. To my family, it's family time. Whether you want to eat or not, sitting at the dining table - A MUST. I try my very best to be there at times. But, technically my shell of a body's there, my mind miles away.

I can't help it. I can't sleep at night. So sue me. Nocturnal. You ask me why? Like I'd know.

Woke up with this ache in my chest. This empty void. Felt like I was devoid of hope. This emptiness that I held so close at times because it was all I could grasp on. Head swimming with scenes from the dreams. Heart racing. Pulse quick. Hyperventilating? I don't know. All I know is I felt scared. SCARED out of my wits. I didn't know they'd come back, more intense than before. I was caught off guard. The feelings were so real. The emotions so intense. I felt like I was running for miles. I didn't sweat though. My palms were icy. (Not like they are always warm, apparently) Why? I thought they'd torment at night. Now, everytime I close my eyes?

It's back.

Those dreams. Vivid. Emotion-filled. Draining.

This is for you, Tia. (a.ka. Athena Chai Ning)

Time flies.

I want to just turn back time, even if it's for awhile. Where it was simplier. To when I see you everyday. When we argue over the silliest things everyday. Calling each other silly names. Doing stupid things. It's another year. And once again, it's the day you were borned, your birthday. I wrote that below last year, and just for memories sake, I'd post it below. I can't seem to write something to express what I feel inside, words fail me at times. I hope the below suffices.






Happy 18th Birthday, baby girl. For now, this post will have to suffice. And the promise of driving over would be on hold. (Drat that L license.) Many happy returns of this happy day. I intended to write this after midnight. But then, it seems not meant to be. School tomorrow. Ah wells. Hugs, kisses, buckets of love and what not for you..

I need space to breathe.

To recuperate. To heal. To grow.